SHOULD I MEET WITH PENPAL?

Dear Coleen

In 2013, my husband of 45 years died suddenly. Now, finally, I feel I want to get on with living my life again and be happy. I go to my local social club and know people there, but all the men I like are married or with partners, so I won’t even go there. However, a couple of years ago I wrote to a magazine, which has a page for single people, and I started corresponding with a man from Wales. We keep in touch by text and phone calls, too, and now he wants to meet me. He sounds nice on the phone, but his texts are a bit sexy, even though he doesn’t really know me. I’m going to Wales on holiday and he wants to meet up – do you think I should? I really do want to be happy again and life is very lonely.

Coleen says

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with meeting up for a coffee or lunch while you’re on holiday, but if you’re with friends then why not take one along? Or why not meet during the day in a café and have a back-up plan, so if it’s going badly or you feel uncomfortable, you can leave. Why not ask a friend to call you halfway through, so you can either make an excuse to go or let your friend know it’s going well and you’re happy to stay. I wouldn’t necessarily read anything more into his texts other than the fact he’s simply flirting with you. Just be aware that you might get a very different impression of him when you meet in person than you have online or over the phone, and you might decide you’re not interested in a romantic relationship after all. And please don’t get involved in something that’s not right because you’re lonely. The good thing is, you’re ready to embrace life again and if it takes a bit longer to find new friendships and even romance, then that’s OK.