SIR BOB LOVED LADS’ WIND UP

WHAT would Newcastle fans give to finish fourth, third and then fifth in the Premier League these days? Sir Bobby Robson took us to those heights and was a magnificent Geordie, a real character, a real football man, a real winner and a real person. Bobby was big on respect around the training ground and big on rules. He believed in discipline at all times and wanted to build a spirit around the place that we would carry on to the field. One of his favourite rules involved us all eating together every day at training. At 1pm, we would all sit around these tables, but we could not touch a morsel until he was in there. And then, after we had all eaten, we could not leave or get up until he told us we could. “Right, lads, see you tomorrow” and then we’d all scarper. The thing was, Bobby was a slow eater. Sometimes Alan Shearer (above) or Gary Speed would say: “Hurry up, boss” – but that would just make him slower. “Have you tried the soup, lads?” Bobby also demanded respect in team meetings. One day we were in the players’ room, he called a meeting and Craig Bellamy was in the second row, with his feet up on the chair in front of him. Bobby wasn’t having that. “Hey, son, would you put your feet up on a chair like that in your house?” Bellamy went, “Yeah, I f ****** would – it’s my house, I bought it!” “Well, this is my house,” Bobby said. “And you won’t do that in here!” But he would have a laugh with us too, sometimes at his own expense. And there were plenty of opportunities to wind him up. Once, ahead of a Champions League game, Steven Taylor brought a remote-controlled fart machine into the dining room. As we sat having dinner, Taylor stuck this machine under Bobby’s table. We were all in on the joke. Bobby came and sat with the staff – it was game on. Imagine, 25 grown men, tracksuits on, ready to play in a Champions League match – and we’re already crying. The starters come out and it’s down to business. Bobby was just passing the salt when, from nowhere, “Prrrrrrrrrp”. He looked around, disgust on his face. We’re all on it, trying to keep a straight face. Bobby is fuming already, but he lets it go. Then “Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrp”. And “PRRRRRRRRRRRP PPPPPPPPPP!”. Bobby (below) wasn’t having this one. “That’s disgusting,” he roared, standing up and banging the table with his fist. “Who was that?” You can imagine the state we were in. We let him in on it and he saw the funny side straight away. “You b ****** s!” he said, as he laughed with the rest of us.