By talking we can perhaps help women trust their gut and get out of any dodgy situations...
Mirror girl Siobhan O’connor tells of inappropriate massage at gym
What woman hasn’t had a brush with some form of sexual harassment? Most of us have encountered a variety of such predators but now in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein scandal plenty are coming forward with their own story. In my late 20s I experienced a groping incident during a massage – I had bought one of those 50% off deals online. The establishment was by no means a parlour where the customer is in for a “happy ending” – but rather a reputable gym. When I arrived at the Dublin venue alarm bells should have gone off when the masseur did not leave the room as I proceeded to undress. Instead he turned his back, threw me a towel and asked me to “strip off ” saying it was up to me if I “wanted to leave on my underwear”. I remember lying on the massage plinth thinking he was a bit odd but I didn’t want to leg it as he had essentially done nothing wrong. He wasn’t Irish so maybe this was his way I figured. As he was massaging my back I remember asking him to ease the pressure as it was too hard, he replied, “massages are supposed to be hard”. Unnerved and paralysed I felt his hand sliding towards my nether regions and assumed the lad would stop at my upper thigh. I thought I was imagining it as he fully dropped the hand attempting to massage my privates. My internal dialogue was fraught with doubt, “Is this b ***** d really putting his hand up my knickers?” I promptly jumped off the table and told him I had to go. He told me he had done nothing wrong, he was just giving me a full body massage. Flushed and riddled with paranoia and fear, I fled the scene thinking it was all a bad dream. I didn’t trust my gut and sort of made myself believe the whole incident was a figment of my imagination. I never reported him and looking back I should have. These incidents are 10 a penny and we must out the offenders. Last year I heard of a new phenomenon flooding Irish nightclubs whereby lads were going around putting their hands up young girls’ skirts. Ask any woman you know and I guarantee they’ve faced an unsavoury grope. Maybe by talking about it we can help innocent females trust their gut and get out of a dodgy situation. We can also reach out to parents to educate young boys that girls are not playthings to be mauled and touched up. Did I think my weird massage was sexual harassment? Not really I just thought your man was a scumbag and that I had a lucky escape. But how do you know if copping a feel could lead to a serious sexual assault – the lines are blurred.
He wasn’t Irish so maybe this was his way I figured SIOBHAN O’CONNOR