CROSS-DRESS URGE TAKING OVER MY LIFE

Dear Coleen

I’m a single, straight 31-year-old and it’s been more than eight months since I last wore any women’s clothing. I knew it would be hard to stop my urges to dress up. In fact, it’s now starting to affect my health. Is there any help I can get from counselling or even hypnosis to stop me wanting to dress up and prevent me thinking about it constantly? I’m finding it particularly hard at this time of year, as I see women walking around wearing nice skirts, tights and heels. If I don’t get help, I’m going to give in to my urges. I really want to get over my addiction and find a girlfriend.

Coleen says

Why are you putting so much pressure on yourself to get over it if it’s something that brings you pleasure or comfort? Cross-dressing is usually more than just a desire to dress up – for many it’s a deep-rooted need and a compulsion. I do think counselling is a good idea because it could help you to understand yourself better. At the moment you think it’s wrong and feel confused and guilty. It’s not wrong, but you should talk about it and try to understand where it stems from instead of treating it as this terrible secret. You also seem isolated, as if you’re the only person in the world with these urges. I can tell you honestly that, over the years, it’s one of the subjects I’ve had the most letters about. I understand your fear about revealing this to someone you really care about, but I think it comes down to being comfortable in your own skin first. After all, you might meet someone who isn’t bothered by it at all. I know several men from the club scene in Manchester who dress up to go out. Their wives know about it and are OK with it as long as it’s kept away from their life together. You can access more information and support online.