WILL COURT CASE SPLIT US UP?

Dear Coleen

My husband and I are going through a tough time right now. Our relationship is OK, but we’re under a lot of stress as we’re involved in a court case that’s bleeding us dry financially. It’s making us ill through worry.

An ex business partner is refusing to pay us a substantial sum of money that he owes us – it’s very complicated and I think it will end up in court.

My problem is, because of all this, we can’t afford to do anything – go on holiday, buy things for the kids, have evenings out and so on. We’ve stopped seeing friends and become quite insular, started to bicker and we blame each other for things.

I just can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel and worry it’s going to break us. Any advice?

Coleen says

I think you have to agree that it’s not going to break you.

Yes, there are going to be tough times and moments when your anger and frustration are threatening to boil over, but keep reminding each other that there will be an end to it one way or the other, so don’t lose each other in the middle of it.

You’re in it together, so when one of you is feeling down, it’s up to the other to be positive.

Also, don’t cut out your friends. Being able to relax and take yourself out of the day-to-day routine is more important than ever. You might not be able to afford to go out all the time, but your friends can come round and you can forget about stuff for a night.

And be honest – explain how stressful things have been. This is the time you find out who your real friends are, and they’ll get it and be supportive.

But please don’t let the situation wreck your marriage – if you end up splitting, it’s just handing this other person a victory. Don’t give them the satisfaction. Good luck.