I’VE CHEATED ON BORING BLOKE

Dear Coleen

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost six years on and off. We got back together again in July and I’ve cheated twice already, mainly because he’s a workaholic and pays me so little attention.

I love him, but I just need more sometimes. If I’m honest, he’s boring but I do want to be with him. So I’ve made the decision not to tell him, although I’m not sure how to fix the issue long term.

I don’t want to cheat again and I don’t plan to, I just want him to be fun and pay me more attention.

Coleen says

You can’t change a person and make him more fun if that’s not his personality. You’ve been trying for six years to make this relationship work with no luck, so what makes you think things will be different now and in the future?

Maybe you do love him and like him as a person, but it doesn’t mean you’re right together as a couple.

You don’t cheat twice in six months after getting back together with someone if you really love and respect that person. It’s a pretty obvious sign that things aren’t right. Maybe you’re just afraid of taking the leap and walking away from the relationship for good because you’ve been locked in this cycle of breaking up and making up, and it’s become the norm.

It really sounds to me as if you need a clean break to allow yourselves a fresh start. Relationship counselling could help you reach a conclusion and, if he won’t go with you, then you ought to go on your own.