Resolutions we’d all like to succeed

ALONG with healthy eating, getting fit and spending less time welded to my phone, I have vowed to resolve several issues of mine in the new year. I also imagined what others may have promised in 2018...

“Keep my hands, mouth and other parts of me to myself” – Harvey Weinstein, pictured, Kevin Spacey, Dustin Hoffman et al

“Keep off Twitter” – Trump and Bake Off judge Prue Leith “Hide his mobile

phone” – Melania

Trump and Republicans

“Lock the door” – BBC pundit Robert Kelly whose young children hijacked his discussion on the ramifications of the impeachment of the South Korean president “Double-check those Oscar envelopes” – Pricewaterhousecoopers after they botched last year’s Academy Awards

“Keep away from Pepsi ads”

– Kendall Jenner, pictured

“Handle complaining customers without

manhandling them” – United Airlines sued for millions after forcibly dragging a passenger off a jet

“Stop testing” – Kim

Jong Un

“Do not air dirty

laundry in public” –

Mel B after she gave a blow-by-blow account of her sex life in public court documents “Make sure we have a firewall” – Uber bosses following the details of millions of customers being hacked

“Stop meddling with others’ democracy” – Vladimir Putin

“Get tested for selective

amnesia” – Attorney General Jeff Sessions who swore he’d never met Russian officials before admitting that he did

“Always wait more than 10 days to order business cards” – Anthony Scaramucci, who served as White House communications director for just 10 days.