IS SHE DUMPING ME FOR MY PAL?

Dear Coleen

I’ve been seeing a girl a few months and I’m really into her. However, the other night in the pub she asked if we could put things on hold so she can have a think about what she wants.

My first thought was she’s interested in another guy, but she insists there’s no one else. She’s also been spending quite a lot of time with a friend of mine as they’re in the same drama club.

I asked her about him, but she was really defensive and it ended up in a row. I don’t want to lose her, but I’m not sure I can handle putting things on hold as I need to know where I stand. Any ideas?

Coleen says

Ouch! It’s obviously crossed your mind she’s interested in your friend and that’s why she’s confused. I know you don’t want that to be true, but I think you have to ask her as it sounds to me as if she’s keeping her options open while she chooses. Meanwhile, you’re in limbo, waiting for her decision.

If I were you, I’d back off and let her get on with it – don’t call or text - and show her that you’re OK without her. I think you should keep your options open, too. You shouldn’t be putting your life on hold.

As far as your friend goes, he must know how much you like this girl, yet he’s quite happy to spend all this time with her. So perhaps you need to reassess that friendship.