Get your sex life back in rude health

Couples in good health and with a decent level of fitness are nearly twice as likely to be interested in sex as they grow older – and also more likely to report having a satisfying sex life, according to a study by the University of Chicago.

The research found men in ‘very good’ or ‘excellent’ health could expect to add up to seven years to their sex life expectancy, while women in the same position could add on up to six years.

We’re still at the beginning of 2018, so why not make it the year you shape up as a couple – and embark on a diet and fitness programme together?

“Teaming up like this and spending more time together will have the benefit of increasing intimacy,” explains counsellor Charlotte Wright, “plus getting fitter and eating healthier food will boost your energy levels, making sex more fun and less of a chore.”

It’s well known that couples who talk more have more sex, but today’s busy lives – often juggling work, parenthood and leisure time – can mean less one-to-one time with our partner.

Real communication takes time and practice, but does create better intimacy, which leads in turn to more affection and ultimately more likelihood of sex. “Ideally a couple should take time to talk every day for at least 10 minutes, sharing what’s happened that day and any bigger issues they need addressing,” suggests Charlotte. “Sit close together, with no distractions and make eye contact.

“Tell each other how you’re feeling and be honest about sex. Ask if your partner feels satisfied with your love life and how you can help – and explain about your own needs too.” Researchers from Cambridge University have warned that couples are killing the mood by bringing their tablets and phones to bed. Study lead Professor David Spiegelhalter said the rise of screen time promoted by Netflix, smartphones and box sets meant people are never bored and so have less sex – with the

A 2013 study in the UK found one in six people say their health affects their sex life, yet threequarters do not seek advice from a doctor about the problem.

Many illnesses, such as diabetes and prostate cancer, can affect a man’s ability to have and maintain an erection. While for women the drop in oestrogen at the menopause can cause loss of sex drive and vaginal dryness.

For both sexes, depression can cause a slump in libido, while medication for many conditions – including heart disease and diabetes – can also reduce interest in sex.

If health problems are stopping you having sex, don’t just accept it, make an appointment to see your GP for a check-up.

And if it’s a pre-existing condition that’s causing the problem, you need to make sure it’s under the best control possible. For instance, if you’re taking drugs that limit your libido or, for men, impair an erection, ask your doctor if there’s an alternative you can try.

Women going through menopause shouldn’t suffer in silence either, there are plenty of treatments that can help alleviate the symptoms, including vaginal lubricants your doctor can prescribe, or HRT which can help boost libido and is deemed safe these days.

A couple should talk for at least 10 minutes, sharing what happened that day and any bigger issues

The brain is a vital sexual organ too, so when worry takes over your mind, the knock-on is apparent in the bedroom

Any kind of stress can cause a drop in your libido – even if it seems unrelated to your relationship. The brain is a vital sexual organ too, so when worries take over your mind the knock-on effect can become apparent in the bedroom.

“It’s vital to talk about the problem, so either partner doesn’t feel like they’ve done something wrong,” says Charlotte Wright.

Then tackle stress as a couple.

“Find ways to relieve it together,” Charlotte says. “Take a long walk, enjoy a scented bath, or give each other a massage.” The key is to relax together, without the pressure to necessarily have sex initially. Booking a weekend away will also give you both time out from stress to focus on each other.