I CAN’T COPE WITH WIFE’S BAD TEMPER

Dear Coleen

My wife is very kind-hearted when it comes to people we hardly know, but at home she’s so unhappy.

If I start any kind of conversation she’ll immediately blow up with anger, even if I’m talking about something positive. Her fuse is extremely short and she can go from 0 to 60 in less than a second and generally I have no idea what I’ve done. My stomach aches before I walk into our house now.

My suggestions about counselling, anger management, divorce and finding happiness are a waste of time because I can’t get a single sentence out without her losing the plot.

I am 17 years older than her and we’ve been together 20 years. I’ve always spoiled her with attention and love, but not money.

I am at my wits’ end. Any suggestions?

Coleen says

I think in this case your actions will speak louder than words. From now on, if she blows up, walk out of the room immediately and don’t engage with her. Don’t sit there and take it.

If someone won’t listen, writing a letter can be good. Tell her how you feel in the letter and be clear that, 20 years or not, you will walk out unless she’s willing to change her behaviour and discuss your relationship like a grown-up.

Let’s face it, she doesn’t sound happy either.

The thing is, you can’t solve a problem between two people on your own. The other person has to be willing to try.

If she won’t make the effort, then you have to ask yourself if you can put up with this situation for the rest of your life.