COULD CHEMO DESTROY OUR BABY DREAM?

Dear Coleen

My partner is going to have chemotherapy for Hodgkin’s disease. We’re both in our early 20s and we’ve been told he might not be able to have kids after treatment.

It’s breaking my heart, as we’ve been planning on getting married and we have talked such a lot about having children.

I am really worried that his treatment will affect our sex lives, too. Is there anything we can do?

Coleen says

The first thing you must do is talk to your partner’s doctors about sperm banking, which should be done before his treatment starts.

As far as your sex life goes, of course he’s bound to feel tired and less interested in sex while he’s having the treatment, but it shouldn’t have a lasting impact on your lovemaking in the long term.

Always remember, on those days when he’s not feeling in the mood, don’t take it personally and try to understand that he’s not always going to manage to be positive.

There will be moments when he’s frightened and maybe even scared of losing you, so you can help by being patient and reassuring.

Emotionally, this is tough on you too – I know how scary it is to see a loved one undergoing treatment – so don’t forget to look after yourself. If you feel strong, you’ll be able to be strong for him.

You can find out more about chemotherapy and sexuality and fertility in men on the CRUK website (www.cruk.org).