He pesters me to marry him

Dear Coleen

I’m 25 and have been in a relationship with a guy for about six months now. He has been talking about me moving in and light-heartedly asking me to marry him and have children.

My problem is I don’t want any of those things. I don’t want to move out of my own place, get married and have any kids at all.

I have already told him this several times, but he’s not getting the message. Is it me? I wonder if my reaction is normal or is my heart just cold and dead?

Coleen says

No, it’s not cold or weird. You’re young and you’re not ready for that full-on commitment with someone you’ve only been with for six months. There’s nothing wrong with that. If you like him, then all you can do is keep going and not be pressured into making such a huge decision. If he asks, “When will you be ready?”, be honest and say you don’t know. Add that if he keeps bringing it up, he’ll drive you away altogether.

At this point, you should be enjoying your relationship and getting to know each other better. It’s pretty early on to be talking about all that stuff. You have plenty of time.

You’re being very mature and clearly know your own mind, so just stick to your guns.

I don’t know how old your boyfriend is. Perhaps he is ready to settle down – but if that’s the case, he might have to do it with someone else.