I’ve fallen for new girl but should I open my heart?
Dear Coleen
A new girl started at work at the end of last year and we hit it off immediately, as we share many interests and have very similar personalities.
I have found myself falling head over heels for her. Basically I feel like I have met my soulmate because we have such an amazing connection.
I’m unsure about what to do about the situation, though, because she is 21 and I’m 40, although she’s very mature for her age and not a typical 21-yearold, into partying and the like.
I really want to let her know my true feelings, but I’ve refrained from saying anything so far as she does have a boyfriend, although he is working in Australia for the next three years and she has let on that they are having a few difficulties.
I also don’t want to make her uncomfortable at work or ruin the friendship we have developed. But I’m having sleepless nights and have found myself not eating properly because of the situation.
It’s driving me crazy and making me quite miserable, although around her I am my usual happy-go-lucky self because she puts a spring in my step. Do I just let it go and potentially miss out, or risk ruining everything?
Coleen says
Long-distance relationships are challenging, but it doesn’t mean she’s ready to throw in the towel as far as her boyfriend is concerned and start dating other people.
I think before you start worrying about the age gap you need to deal with the fact that the situation is really affecting your wellbeing, causing sleepless nights and stopping you from eating.
It’s hard to admit you have romantic feelings for a friend, especially when there seem to be so many obstacles in the way.
But I think you should say something because then you’ll know where you stand and can stop torturing yourself with all these what ifs?
But you have to accept that she might not be interested in a romantic relationship and that it might be hard to stay friends and even work together if she turns you down.
You have to ask yourself if you’ll be able to cope working with her every day if things don’t go exactly the way you want them to.