Mum-in-law possessive of MY HUBBY

Dear Coleen

My husband and his mother can’t seem to cut the apron strings and it feels as if she wants to replace me. He doesn’t seem to care that she totally isolates me or talks over me when I’m speaking. He just says, “That’s the way she is”.

She has come between us in the past and we made it through, but I don’t have any fight left in me. Is this what happens when you have a mother-in-law who can’t let go of her son?

Is it worth throwing away everything so she can have her son back?

Coleen says

No, of course not. Why would you throw away the most important relationship in your life because his mum is immature, insecure and jealous? These are her issues and they’re clearly making her very unhappy.

We can’t all get on with our in-laws, but there’s no reason why you have to see that much of her. Yes, sometimes you’ll have to grin and bear it if there’s a family do, but the rest of the time your husband can visit his mum on his own. You mustn’t stop him from seeing her and I’m sure she’ll love having him to herself for a while.

He loves his mum and that’s not going to change, so resist the temptation to bad-mouth her. If your husband is put out because you don’t want to see his mum, just explain calmly that it’s better for your relationship if you don’t.

It might prompt him to take your point of view more seriously and have a discussion with his mum.

But don’t let her see she’s affecting your relationship this much. And if you start acting as if you couldn’t care less about her comments or her behaviour, my guess is she’ll eventually get bored and give up. Good luck.