Overweight, depressed and at odds with family
Dear Coleen
I’m a woman of 68 with health problems and I’m also extremely overweight. I have tried all the diets and even paid to have a gastric band fitted, which worked for a while, but I had to have it removed.
Everything is making me depressed and my husband is my biggest woe. He he retired three years ago and all he does is sit in front of the telly all day. I tell him there are jobs that need doing around the house, but they never get done. I used to go out every day when he was working, but I hardly go anywhere now, hence why my weight has crept up even more.
I wanted to join a gym but my GP wanted to find out if my heart is up to it and was going to run some tests, but I’ve not heard anything.
Also, my daughter has just embarrassed me in front of the whole family. I’m fuming and have kept my distance, but I want to confront her. She’s like her father and can’t be spoken to.
I’m so unhappy with everything, but I do my best to bounce back and be cheerful. My social life is non-existent and my husband never suggests going anywhere or doing anything.
I feel life is slipping by. Please help.
Coleen says
Firstly, one of the things that can sabotage weight control is your emotion. You sound driven by your emotions and so when you feel down you comfort eat. The other thing you have to do – and I speak from the heart here – is stop making excuses. Stop looking for a quick fix or a miracle tablet or surgery to sort your problems.
The first thing you should do is get on the phone to your GP and ask about the test – be proactive. Also, exercise doesn’t have to be in a gym or a 10-mile hike, you can walk in the park or round the block at your own pace or lift some water bottles at home.
Take baby steps, especially if you’ve never done any exercise in the past. You need to build your stamina and fitness gradually, and be realistic about your goals.
At home, start being selfish and put yourself first. Don’t run around after your husband and daughter. I think you feel out of control of your life as regards your weight and the fact your hubby is lazy and your daughter is rude and takes advantage.
Maybe you can’t change their attitude, but you can control yourself. And I promise you, as soon as you do start taking control, you’ll feel like a different person. You’ll gain more confidence to be vocal with your husband, you’ll start feeling better and looking better. Even losing a couple of pounds can have amazing effect and you can build on that win.
Just don’t fall for gimmicks and fad diets that could impact on your health.