It’s just the worst word you can hear... cancer
LIVERPOOL football legend Terry Mcdermott, 66, was devastated when doctors said his wife Carole, 58, had been diagnosed with cancer. In this exclusive extract from his autobiography, he opens up about the experience and reveals how their story had a happy ending...
Carole is someone who has always been vigilant in checking her body, and over Christmas 2016, she found a lump in one of her breasts. She knew something wasn’t quite right because around the area where the lump was she had been experiencing some sharp pains.
Typical of Carole, she didn’t want to spoil Christmas and because I was also suffering with a health problem of my own, she kept it to herself.
With Christmas over and me on the road to recovery, in the middle of January Carole went to see the doctor who told her that, in her opinion, there was nothing to worry about – and, in any case, she was due a mammogram in 12 months’ time.
At first that was good to hear but she was still uncertain.
There was still something niggling her. A couple of months later she decided to see another doctor for a second opinion.
This doctor was also quite casual but at least she decided to send her to hospital to see a consultant, although her case wasn’t considered urgent.
She went and had a mammogram, a scan and biopsies taken.
The end result was horrendous. Sitting there together after being called in to discuss the examinations, you hear the horrible word – the worst one you can ever hear – cancer.
She was diagnosed with stage one, grade two cancer. I just went cold inside. Carole was a little tearful.
The consultant, Henry Cain, was magnificent. I said to him ‘Will she be OK?’ He said: ‘We’ll look after her Terry, I’m sure she will be.’ That was all I wanted to hear. I had been dreading him saying there was nothing they could do for her.
If it had been a negative response I would have probably collapsed. He couldn’t have been nicer. You hear some people having a go at the NHS but when you see close up what goes on, you understand what a great job they do.
And the good thing about Carole is she is strong mentally. Everyone who met her during this nightmare period or who spoke to her on the phone or sent The pair on their big day messages couldn’t believe how strong she appeared. She believed she was going to beat it.
When I had my mini stroke (I had to undergo an operation, which was successful), I was able to cope better than I did when Carole was dealt her blow.
When someone you love is going through all this you feel powerless. When she started her chemo, I would have done anything to swap situations and for me to be going through it rather than her.
It was really tough at times. We slept in separate bedrooms because it was important Carole had the best night’s sleep possible. At times she was tired, in pain, looking completely different to the Carole I knew.
The worst thing for her was losing her hair. She couldn’t get to grips with that. She didn’t want anyone to see her without her wig. We had gone out and bought a couple once her hair started dropping out.
Sitting on the edge of the bed with her one day, she just said: ‘This is going to be a long haul isn’t it?’ But she wasn’t going to let it beat her. During those six months of treatment, she was having bouts of chemotherapy every three weeks. After the third lot of chemo, she was told the tumour had shrunk, which was great news.
Finally, after all the treatment we had to see the consultant. It was nerveracking for both of us.
You didn’t know what to expect. Has everything worked? Has it partly worked? Or has it not worked and there’s nothing more they can do?
All these thoughts were going through my mind. I was looking for any signs when Dr Cain walked into the room. Was he smiling?
He walked in and said: ‘Hi Carole, Terry, everything OK?’ I knew then it was going to be good news. He said everything had gone great. Well, I could have jumped on his back as if we were celebrating scoring a goal – except this was far more important. We were so relieved.
I discovered that when you finish
I would have done anything to swap situations and for me to go through it rather than her – it was really tough