AFRAID TO TELL HIM OF €30K DEBT

Dear Coleen

I’ve been keeping it secret from my husband that I have €30k worth of debt, which I’ve run up over the past two years. We are about to renew the mortgage on our house in the summer so he’s going to find out and I’m sick with worry.

It’ll not only affect our lending, but he’ll know I’ve lied to him.

We relocated to a new area a couple of years ago and I’ve been pretty miserable, plus the move has affected my work, meaning I’ve been earning less.

However, I haven’t been spending less – I’ve been spending more, probably because I’m unhappy and looking for fast fixes to make myself feel better.

What can I do? I can’t leave it until July when our mortgage is up for renewal to tell him – he’ll go mad.

Coleen says

I can feel how stressed you are about admitting this to your husband, but you have to do it because he’s going to find out and it’s better to be in control of that situation.

The best thing to do is arm yourself with information on how you can get help with your debt before you speak to him. You can talk to your bank, but also the debt charity Stepchange (stepchangedebtcharity.ie), which can provide financial advice, as well as devise a debt management plan to help you pay off your debt at a more manageable rate.

You also need to tackle the root of your spending problem and think about what will make you happier. At the moment, you’re trying to combat your misery by living above your means, which might make you feel better short-term, but the comedown is you’re staring at a €30k debt. Until you take steps to address your unhappiness, you’ll still be vulnerable.