MY PARTNER HAS Gone OFF HAVING Sex

Dear Coleen

We used to have the most amazing sex life, but in the last month my partner just hasn’t wanted it at all. We have spoken about it and she just says she’s not sure why she’s feeling like this – she just has “no interest”.

How can I approach this with her again? I love her and I don’t want to lose her. I also don’t want to keep trying it on with her so she feels pressured – that’s happened to me before and it wasn’t nice.

I want her to know that I’m here for her and will do what I have to do to get us back on track. Any ideas on what could be the reason for losing her sex drive if it isn’t anything to do with me?

Coleen says

It’s only been a month, so I don’t think you should panic just yet, and you’re doing everything right by being supportive and not pressuring her by making it all about sex.

I think you should just tell her what you’ve told me – that you’re here for her whatever the reason is and maybe you can try and work it out together.

It could be hormonal, which is something she could ask her GP about, or it could be down to something external like stress at work. It’s normal for your libido to change according to circumstances.

It’s definitely worth making the effort to romance each other again without expecting it to end in sex. Rebuilding intimacy away from the bedroom and being reminded of what attracted you to each other in the first place can really help too.