Girlfriend’s mate always tags along

Dear Coleen

My girlfriend and I are both in our mid-20s and have been together for nearly a year.

Things are good between us but it’s hard to have a proper relationship because whenever we’re together her best friend always seems to be there too!

At our age, I just find it immature and wonder why my girlfriend invites her out with us all the time.

I want to bring it up with her and have a serious discussion about it, but I’m worried she’ll take it badly and think I’m being controlling.

Should I bite the bullet and talk to her or her mate about it?

Coleen says

I think you should discuss it with your girlfriend first, as I don’t think she’ll take kindly to you warning off her friend behind her back.

You should be able to compromise on this and you have a perfectly valid point in that you’d like to spend some time alone with her, enjoying being couple.

If you were demanding she didn’t see her friend again or that her friend couldn’t be invited out ever again, then that would be controlling and unreasonable.

Perhaps your girlfriend simply hasn’t realised that it’s a problem for you because you haven’t said anything. And I think if you want to move your relationship on to the next level, then it’ll be hard to do if there’s always someone else there!