He’s perfect, BUT I Have DOUBTS

Dear Coleen

I’m a woman in my late twenties with a good job and a good life.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years and we live together.

He’s great – supportive, a good friend and a good lover – but I keep feeling there’s something missing.

I literally can’t fault him, but it just feels to me like there might be someone out there to whom I’m better suited.

Everyone thinks we’re the perfect couple and I’m sure they’re expecting an engagement announcement any day, but I panic at the thought of being married to him.

What’s wrong with me? There’s nothing wrong with him.

Coleen says

I’m sure there isn’t, but if you’re having those doubts, then don’t get into talking about engagement and marriage. One of my sisters dated someone for eight years who wanted to marry her and have kids, but she couldn’t imagine it with him, as perfect as he was, and everyone was shocked when they broke up because they seemed perfect for each other.

Your boyfriend might very well be perfect for you on paper, but if that spark is missing – the X factor of romance – there’s nothing you can do about that.

It’s either there or it isn’t. If you’re feeling in your gut that it’s not right, you have to be brave and trust your instincts.

Have an honest conversation with your partner – don’t let it get to that moment when he’s down on one knee, so you feel pressured to say yes or dump him on the spot.