SHE KEEPS IN TOUCH WITH SEX PARTNER

Dear Coleen

I’m in a same-sex relationship with another woman and we’ve been dating for nearly 18 months. However, I’m struggling to cope with her close friendship with a girl she used to live with before we met.

I know this girl wanted a romantic relationship with my girlfriend but that was never on the cards as the feeling wasn’t mutual.

However, my girlfriend admitted that they did sleep together a few times on a casual basis when they were both single.

I’ve explained to her that their relationship makes me a bit insecure, even though I believe her when she says it’s just friendship.

I don’t want to come across as needy and ruin things for us.

What do you suggest?

Coleen says

I think she needs to acknowledge and respect how you feel because it is tough on a partner when you remain very close to someone you’ve slept with.

I know it wasn’t a relationship as such, but they did cross that line from friendship into a sexual relationship, even though it didn’t last. So she shouldn’t dismiss or ignore your feelings.

It could help if you got to know this woman better and were more involved in going out as part of a friendship group – you might feel less threatened.

I think as long as you’re open with your girlfriend and are not being unreasonable, such as banning all contact, then you won’t come across as needy or possessive. I think you just need some reassurance.