Devastated parents are Divorcing

Dear Coleen

I’m a 16-year-old girl and my parents recently sat down with me and explained that they’ve decided to separate and start divorce proceedings.

I was shocked and upset but, if

I’m honest, I’ve known for a while that they haven’t been getting on and live pretty much separate lives.

I keep wondering if I could have done anything to stop this or if I’m in any way responsible – I’ve been going through a stressful time with exams. I’m also an only child, so have no siblings to talk to about it and I’m worried about what my school friends are going to think.

Can you give me some advice?

Coleen says

First of all, two very important points. You couldn’t have done anything to stop your parents ending up in this situation and you’re not to blame.

From what you’ve said, it sounds as if they’ve been drifting apart for a while and they’ve finally decided to do something about it.

Don’t be scared to confide in your parents and explain how you’re feeling – they’re going to expect you to be upset and also to have lots of questions.

It seems as if things are quite amicable between your mum and dad and I’m sure you’re their priority.

In terms of reassurance, my two sons have grown up into wonderful, happy young men and have a great relationship with both me and their dad, even though we split when they were very young.

As for your friends, I’m sure they will be nothing but supportive. These days there are plenty of single-parent families, kids with divorced parents and so on.