Delusion that takes Sam imagination

A BBC documentary called Managing England interviewed most of the poor sods who’d grasped the poisoned chalice over recent decades, and a pattern emerged.

When they took the job they believed they were heading for a five-star Caribbean cruise. Only to be thrown off at Cuba and imprisoned in Guantanamo Bay.

The most experienced coaches, such as Sven-goran Eriksson and Fabio Capello, were philosophical, feeling they’d made the best of an impossible task. The ones most out of their depth were comical: “For me, I was the stand-out candidate,” said Steve Mcclaren when he got the call.

“I just felt like a man of the people,” said Sam Allardyce (below) when he got his. Which was almost as bizarre as his belief that he deserved a lot more credit for the job he did at Everton, especially in putting Liverpool in their place.

“They haven’t managed to beat us in the league and have only scored one goal against us. That’s not that bad,” he said, to much Blue bemusement after a goalless draw at Goodison when Jurgen Klopp rested half his team before a vital Champions League game.

At least he was honest enough to admit he was jealous of Gareth Southgate taking England to Russia – although the reason was typically delusional: “Because that should be me there.”

Which made me wish the interview had taken place last week, after Sam led England to victory over the Rest of the World XI in Socceraid’s game.

He probably would have boasted: “No one’s managed to beat me in my two games as England manager –

I’ve got a 100 per cent record. That’s not bad. Let’s see if Southgate can match that in Russia.”

This could be a painful few weeks for The Deluded One.

TONY ADAMS says it’s a shame for England that Glenn Hoddle isn’t in the dug-out with Gareth Southgate during this World Cup, advising and passing on his experience. And I agree. To have Hoddle anywhere other than co-commentating on ITV (or coma-commentating as he always makes it) would have been a great boost to a nation.