WORRIED MY MARRIAGE IS OVER

Dear Coleen

I’ve been married to my husband for 14 years and I love him with all my heart, but there is something missing. He sits on his ipad or his laptop all night, every night.

I love to cuddle, but there is none of that. In fact, the only time he touches me is if sex is involved and it’s always the same.

He never helps around the house, so I do everything as well as working full-time and attending uni. I feel so lonely and worry the marriage is over, but we have young children.

Coleen says

He might be there in body, but he’s checked out emotionally and is no help in a practical sense either. You’ve stopped communicating.

Firstly, have you told him how you feel? I’d suggest taking him out for a drink to tell him, so he’s not distracted by his devices.

Tell him you’re unhappy and that the marriage is in trouble. You’re living together, but you may as well be on your own because he’s just not there for you.

Tell him you want to try to work on it but if he’s not willing to do that, then the only other choice is to be good friends and good co-parents. You can’t repair things on your own – he has to want to do it, too.

If he doesn’t have the capacity to change, then don’t feel you have to stay just because you have the children.

Think about role modelling – your children are watching everything at home and they will be learning from you.

Do you want your kids to grow up thinking that’s how a marriage should be?