PALS ALL WANT ME PAIRED UP

Dear Coleen

I’m almost 21, single and have no desire for a relationship right now. However, my friends and family are trying to pressure me into it, saying that I “can’t stay lonely for ever”. But I’m not lonely, I’m just alone and that’s how I’m happy to be at the moment.

I’ve never been in a really serious relationship before, but that seems to bother everybody else more than it bothers me. I don’t actually know where I’m going, but I’m OK with that.

I’ve tried to explain to my friends and family that I’m not ready for a relationship – I just want to go out with my mates and party to be honest. I like my independence and being able to focus on my career. I don’t want a man getting in the way of that.

How can I tell them to back off?

Coleen says

I think you need to say just that! Show them this letter to demonstrate how OK you are with your life right now and that you’re not unhappy or lonely, but simply putting yourself first.

There is nothing wrong with that, especially at 21. Good grief, you have years ahead of you for a serious relationship, kids and all the rest of it. Building your career and having fun with your friends is what every 21-year-old should be doing if possible.

Here’s the thing, you can be lonely in a relationship that’s not right, and I’m sure your parents wouldn’t want that. Please don’t feel pressured by anyone to start a serious relationship.