WHY WON’T HE PROPOSE TO ME?

Dear Coleen

I have been with my boyfriend for five years now and we have a two-year-old daughter. He still hasn’t proposed to me and when I ask him if we can get married he just says he doesn’t have any money.

It’s all becoming so exhausting because it seems like he doesn’t want to tie the knot.

I think he’d be happy to carry on dating, but I can’t do it any more. I need some commitment.

Coleen says

You can be committed to someone without having a piece of paper that says you are married – you have a child together, which binds you for life.

I think you feel insecure within the relationship and that’s what you need to address. Tell him his reluctance to get married or even discuss it is making you feel worried about how committed he is.

If it’s the financial outlay he’s concerned about, then why not suggesting getting married, just the two of you with a couple of witnesses, at the local register office? You could always postpone a party until you can afford it.

Once you’ve said all that, leave it and let him think about it.

What you don’t want to do is walk down the aisle feeling that you’ve nagged or forced him into getting married. It has to be something you both want or it’s pointless.

And if what you’re really worried about is that he’ll leave you or cheat on you, he can do that whether you’re married or not – if he wants to.