Going up...

Missing pawson

A dog who was missing for two years has been reunited with his family after they spotted him on an adoption segment on their local TV news show. Dodger is a very lucky boy... after all, 24 months is more than enough time for them to have realised being dog people was a mistake and have replaced him with a proper (ie feline) pet.

The final straw

Starbucks vowed to phase out plastic straws by 2020... now they’ve revealed how. They’re going to use these “sippy cups for grown ups”, which are great news for the future of our planet and all that, but more importantly, look like they’ll be oddly comforting... (cut to Starbucks being sued for kicking off an adult baby fetish in someone American any second now).