SPLIT HAS KILLED MY CONFIDENCE

Dear Coleen

I’m a man in my 30s and I have been single for three years since breaking up with a long-term girlfriend who I loved.

When it ended, I was left heartbroken – she basically cheated on me with a couple of other men, so I was humiliated as well as devastated. I never saw it coming and always thought we’d get married and have kids. She was also pretty cruel at the end in terms of what she said.

I’ve tried dating apps and sites, but with no luck. And although I go out socially quite a lot, I’m always too nervous to chat anyone up.

Any advice?

Coleen says

Naturally, this has dealt your confidence a blow, but it hasn’t knocked you out and you’re doing all the right things by putting yourself out there and enjoying your social life.

I’ve said this loads of times, so forgive me for repeating myself, but I think it helps not to think of every single woman you meet as a potential girlfriend.

You might have a few short relationships or even a few nights of fun before you meet someone you really click with. And if you’re not thinking of every woman as a potential girlfriend, then it might be easier to just chat to them, as you would a friend, and see where it takes you.

The more you do that, the more confidence you’ll gain.

Good luck.