My husband has banned my parents

Dear Coleen

I have a big problem in that my husband doesn’t like my parents to visit me at our home.

This is heartbreaking for me, as you would imagine. He doesn’t want to see them at all and I’m struggling to come up with a solution that means I still have a relationship with my parents.

Could you please give me some advice? It’s making me so unhappy.

Coleen says

You haven’t said why your husband feels this way towards your parents. Has he fallen out with them over something? Or could it be a way of trying to exercise control over you by deciding who you see and who you don’t?

You have to be strong and stand up to him – he needs to accept that there’s no way you won’t be having a relationship with your family, even if it means you go to visit them alone from now on.

Ask him how he would feel if you refused to see his parents – would he be OK with it? I doubt it.

And how does he think this is going to work if you have children – will he want to keep your parents from their grandchildren, too?

It concerns me that he’s trying to control who’s in your life. It’s unhealthy for the relationship and it smacks of someone who is insecure themselves, all of which makes it even more important you stay close to your family.