I’m unhappy and ended up cheating

Dear Coleen

I’ve been married for 15 years and for the last few I’ve become more and more unhappy. My husband is getting grumpier, financially tighter and more distant by the day, and we barely have sex, let alone cuddle, kiss or even have a laugh together.

We have two children and we spend most of our time rushing around after them, and working.

My husband has very high standards around the house and he moans at me about tidying up.

I work part-time but I’m still fighting a losing battle tidying up after the kids. Yet he expects the house to be tidy when he gets in.

There’s a really lovely, fun guy at work who I’ve become closer to over the last year. Recently we had a company weekend away and ended up in bed together.

I’m full of guilt and don’t know whether to tell my husband. This guy doesn’t want to know because he knows I’m married with kids. But I really like him. What should I do?

Coleen says

Do you know what? Instantly I want to say, “Don’t tell your husband!” But I know there may be people reading this who disagree.

But the real issue here is what made you sleep with this guy in the first place. It sounds like your marriage is in a mess.

I think you have to put your foot down with your husband. You have to tell him how unhappy you are.

He’s stamping his foot about things, but he can’t realise how unhappy you are, so you need to be really honest with him.

You also need to ask yourself if you can be with him for the rest of your life? Is he the type to change?

If he won’t, then think about what you want. This guy at work isn’t the answer – it was probably just a good weekend for him.

But you need to try to sort your marriage out, or one-night stands may happen again.