Keep getting stood up BY lousy dates

Dear Coleen

I’m 21 years old and have often struggled with self-esteem issues. I’m fairly attractive and get a lot of male attention, but still battle with insecurities. These have been made much worse recently after being stood up three times in two weeks.

I’ve arranged dates with men I’ve met either through friends or clubbing, and they’ve either cancelled a few minutes before we were due to meet with pathetic excuses or not turned up at all. It’s left me feeling ugly and really horrible about myself.

I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this because I’m too embarrassed to tell my friends or sister. But I’ve been really depressed about what’s happened and would like some advice on how to deal with it.

Coleen says

I don’t think you should be taking this to heart at all. So, you’ve had a run of bad luck with a few unreliable guys and what you need to take away from this is that none of them were right for you.

Don’t make it about you – it’s just the dating game. Who knows what their reasons were – could be anything from being too lazy to having a crisis of nerves.

I have a friend who’s on a dating website and she’s had many experiences of being stood up, or the guy looking nothing like his picture. She eventually met someone lovely, but not before having experiences similar to you.

However, she had a different attitude – she did confide in me and other friends, and we all had a good laugh about it, so she never let it get to her.

So I’d recommend talking to your friends and sister to lighten the load and provide some reassurance. Good luck!