I told HIS wife about affair out of SPITE

Dear Coleen

I was seeing a married guy for 18 months. He kept promising to leave his wife, which he finally did six months ago. They have two children together aged eight and 10.

I wanted him to move in with me, but he said he wanted a place of his own so his kids could visit and he rented a flat.

Things were going well, but then one day he just ended our relationship out of the blue, saying it wasn’t fair on his kids and that he missed them. It also turned out that he hadn’t told his wife about me. He’d just told her he wanted a break to think about their marriage.

I was angry and heartbroken and, although I regret it now, I told his wife about our affair in a letter that I posted through her door.

He called the next day and went crazy, telling me we were over and never to contact him again. He said he was staying with his wife and they were going to work on things.

I’m devastated and don’t know which way to turn.

Coleen says

My advice would be to leave your ex to get on with it, learn from what happened and move on with your own life. And next time, don’t get involved with a married man.

The thing with affairs is, the partner who’s in a relationship very rarely leaves – why should they when they have the best of both worlds?

And often when two people having an affair end up together officially, it’s suddenly not so thrilling any more when you have to deal with all the other stuff that comes with a real relationship.

He’s made his mind up. But even if he did turn up on your doorstep at some point in the future, could you ever really trust him again?