Hoddle would have had a ball

OH FOR a Glenn Hoddle on a pitch like this.

Oh for a Spurs magician with stardust in his boots to navigate the bobbles, the bumps, the divots and the downright ridiculous playing surface that these two teams were sent out to play on here.

The north Londoners and their fans instead had the stricken club legend’s former captain, Steve Perryman (right), to lead the love as Hoddle continues to recover from Saturday’s cardiac arrest.

Perryman warmed a few hearts on a cold night with the story of him telling teammates to just give Hoddle (above, left) the ball during game in which they played together.

“But he’s got three or four players around him, Skip!” would come the reply.

“I don’t care!” Perryman would insist. “Just give him the f***ing ball!!”

Mauricio Pochettino took one look at the mash-up of yardage markings and turf damage and decided his returning technicians would not be risked on the kind of ground that Hoddle would glide through. No way were the likes of Christian Eriksen or Dele Alli going to start on a surface resembling the all-weather at Southwell racecourse.

Pep Guardiola, to be fair, took a similar view with his fit-again Kevin De Bruyne.

Spurs instead had to make do with the indecision of Moussa Sissoko and the theatrics of Lucas Moura – one pass away from testing Ederson when he decided to throw himself to the ground on the stroke of half-time.

It left you casting your mind back to Hoddle, in his element on pitches just like this Wembley abomination. Worse at times.

Google his goals, glance through Youtube or – if you are of a certain age – simply cast your mind back to those grainy editions of The Big Match, Sportsnight or Match of the Day.

They were the days when Hoddle, one of the inspirations behind the best side since the 1961 Doublewinners along with Ossie Ardiles, would write his name into Spurs legend.

How they must wish he was still around so they could give him the ball.