FRIENDS NOT HAPPY I’M DATING

Dear Coleen

I’m a man in my mid 40s and I’ve never really had a serious relationship – well, not one that would have led to marriage.

I’ve got used to being a spare part in my group of friends, as they’re all married or in longterm relationships.

A couple of months ago, I met a really great woman who joined my running club and we’ve been on a few dates. I was instantly attracted to her, which has never happened to me before, and we just clicked. She’s divorced, doesn’t have kids and is a bit younger than me (late 30s).

My problem is, my friends are being really miserable about it and their attitude is making me second-guess my own judgment.

They’ve been saying things like, “It’s hard to go from being on your own for years to living with someone” and “she’s divorced, that could spell trouble in the future” and “she’ll want to get pregnant straight away because of her age”. I’m astounded not one of them is happy for me. Am I right to be annoyed?

Coleen says

Yes, I think you are. You’ve spent years supporting their choices and watching them all move their lives on, so why can’t they say anything good about this new relationship of yours?

My guess is they’re a bit jealous, and they’re probably so used to you being on your own, they might be wondering how it’s going to affect them.

Will their drinking buddy, who’s always a dead cert for a last-minute pint, suddenly be unavailable? Has this exciting new woman in your life made them feel bad about their own lives? Who knows? What I do know is, if you really like her, ignore everyone else and see how the relationship develops.

When we get into a relationship, it’s impossible to know how things will turn out, but you have to go into it positively to give it a chance.

Be open to it and enjoy yourself – you deserve it.