MY DAUGHTER IS SO RUDE TO MY POOR MUM

Dear Coleen

I’ll be spending this Christmas at my parents’ house with my husband and our two daughters. It should be great – they live in a lovely spot on the coast and are amazing hosts.

My problem is my daughter, who’s six. She really doesn’t like my mum and doesn’t try to hide it either. On the other hand, she loves my dad and it’s so obvious when we’re all together. I find it really awkward and embarrassing.

My mum is quite a big character and she can be strict with the kids, but she’s not horrible. However, my daughter calls her a “horrible granny”. My mum usually just laughs it off, but I know it hurts her. How on earth can I get through to my daughter that the way she talks to my mum is unacceptable?

Coleen says

Trying to reason with a six-year-old is hard, but you do have to keep telling her that her granny loves her and she must be kind and polite when she sees her.

Perhaps remind her she’s lucky to have a gran because lots of kids don’t and that it’s a special relationship. Maybe talk to her about your gran and the things you loved about her.

Your daughter sounds headstrong (probably not unlike her gran!) and is going through that age of not liking rules. It’s something she has to learn.

As for your mum, she’s got to keep in mind that your daughter is only six, maybe they’re very alike and that’s why they clash.

I do think it’s something your daughter will grow out of it, but if she’s being naughty or rude there should be consequences.

Adults should not have to tiptoe around a six-year-old.