NERVOUS TO TRY DATING AT 60

Dear Coleen

I’m a man aged 60 and I split up with my wife a couple of years ago. It was a mutual decision – we’d just grown apart over the years. We are still on friendly terms and see each other at family events with our kids and grandchildren.

I’m lonely, though, and feel ready to be in a relationship. There is a woman I really like who’s a couple of years younger than I am. She’s also divorced with grown-up children and we have a lot in common.

We met through mutual friends and get along like a house on fire, but I don’t know how to approach her to tell her that I’m interested in being more than just a friend. I’ve been out of the dating game for decades and don’t have a clue where to start or how to behave.

Coleen says

It’s hard to know how to make the first move, especially if you always see this woman when you’re with a group of friends. But when you do see her and get talking, why not just say, “Fancy going out together for a meal one night?” Just drop it into the conversation and keep it nice and casual.

If her answer is no, then I think you can take it that she’s not interested. But she might say yes and, if she does, go out and enjoy the night and see where it leads. Don’t put any pressure on yourself or on her and let things develop naturally.

And when you are out (or maybe after a couple of dates), why not say, “I’m really attracted to you and if you want to stay just friends, that’s fine, but I wanted to find out if things could go further.”

If she does just want to be your friend, then don’t hate her for it and enjoy the friendship. But be brave and make that first move – she might well have the same feelings as you, but doesn’t know how to tell you.

Good luck!