SON REFUSES TO TALK TO HIS STEPDAD

Dear Coleen

I have a son, 25, who has always had a difficult relationship with his stepfather, my partner of 17 years.

My son can be quite a difficult character and has always found it hard to settle in a job or a relationship. Last summer we all went on holiday together with friends and other family members. On the last night everyone had a bit too much to drink and my partner told him he should knuckle down and get a job.

My son blew up and they ended up having a huge fight and haven’t spoken since. My partner was furious for a few months but he’s now calmed down and has tried to make things up with my son, but he just isn’t interested.

It’s breaking my heart and I feel like I’m being forced to choose between my son and my husband. What can I do?

Coleen says

I think you need to go round and see your son and tell him how much all of this is breaking your heart. But he is 25, so you can’t force him to be mates with his stepdad.

What I would say, though, is that he still has a lot to learn about life.

It’s easy to be hot-headed and stubborn when you’re that young, as you don’t always realise how short life is or how important family is. So go and see him, but then give him some breathing space.

You and your partner shouldn’t shout or threaten him with never speaking to him again, or anything like that, but rather leave the door open for a reconciliation.

I reckon if you tell him how much you’re hurting, and leave him be, he’ll eventually come round. It’s a hard situation, but you’ll get there.