HER PALS DON’T SEEM TO LIKE ME

Dear Coleen

I started dating a really nice girl a few weeks ago and it’s going well, but I’m not sure about her friends. Well, they seem to have a problem with me. I heard via a mutual friend they think I’m a Flash Harry and big-headed.

I feel embarrassed as I don’t think I come across like this at all and I don’t want my girlfriend to be affected by her friends’ impression of me.

The only thing I can put it down to is the fact that I have a good job and last time I was out with them, I was talking about where I’d travelled to and telling stories about the people I’d met.

What do you think?

Coleen says

I think it’s probably down to a bit of envy and, if you’re aware of that, then you can manage it. Sometimes people don’t want to hear about other people’s successes because it makes them scrutinise own lives, and their own insecurities start rising to the surface. Perhaps you make them feel a bit dull!

It’s their issue, however, I understand you wanting your partner’s friends to like you. You don’t have to completely change yourself, but perhaps just try to be more self-aware and sensitive to others and their circumstances.

You could always mention to your girlfriend that you’re worried her mates don’t like you – she might give you some feedback or just tell you not to worry about it.

The bottom line is, you’re dating her and not her mates.