HOW DO I TELL MUM I’M ENGAGED?

Dear Coleen

I’m an 18-year-old girl. I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for two years and we’re in love.

He proposed to me a couple of weeks ago and I accepted, but I still haven’t told my mum because I know she’ll go mad and start ranting and raving about the fact I’m too young. She treats me like I’m still a kid, but I’m actually very responsible and I know this is a big commitment.

I’m at university and I also work in my spare time. I have no intention of giving up my degree, but I know I want to be with my boyfriend for ever. He’s 22 and working in his first job and he’s responsible too, but my mum just can’t see this. I realise I’m young, but I have thought this through.

Have you any suggestions on how I can reason with my mum?

Coleen says

This rings lots of bells with me. I remember my mum having a similar attitude to my boyfriend when I was even younger than you are now. She liked him actually, but didn’t think it would last (she was right about that!).

Look, you sound like a sensible, mature girl, so try to see things from your mum’s point of view. She only wants the best for you and to help you avoid making bad decisions that you regret later, so reassure her.

Have a plan in mind when you talk to her – tell her you have no intentions of giving up your studies or starting a family in the next few months but, right now, you love this guy and want to make a commitment to him.

But here’s what I think as a middle-aged woman who’s had some experience of life – you don’t have to rush down the aisle. You can still get engaged, commit to each other and live together while saving for your big day.

It’ll give you some time to find out if you really are meant to be together. Meanwhile, you can still throw a party, get a ring and enjoy being engaged.