Can’t afford grandchild’s wedding do

Dear Coleen

My granddaughter is getting married in Barbados later this summer. We’re very close and I’d love to go, but I just can’t afford it.

I’ve explained this to her and her fiance and they’re disappointed, but they understand.

However, my daughter – the mother of the bride – thinks I should dip into my savings. But I’m only 67 and they’re for a rainy day.

I don’t even have much saved and anyway, I have three other grandchildren, so what if they all want to get married abroad?

How can I explain this to my daughter without sounding unreasonable?

Coleen says

You know what, if people get married abroad then they have to accept that not everybody will be able to make it.

And while it sounds like your granddaughter accepts this, your daughter clearly doesn’t.

But you’re right – those savings are for a rainy day. You could spend a few thousand going to Barbados and then your roof may need fixing. Or your car may go.

And like you say, you have other grandchildren to think about. If you go abroad for one of their weddings, you have to go abroad for all of them (if they decide to get married abroad, that is).

I think you should stick to your guns.

Explain to your daughter you’re not going and will celebrate with your granddaughter another way – perhaps with a nice lunch when they all get home.