Therapy helped me go from agoraphobic to personal trainer
Phil Burman, 43, is a production manager and part-time personal trainer who lives in Stevenage, Herts
Opening up about my mental health issues has transformed my life. Ever since I was a teenager, I’ve always suffered with poor mental health. In my 20s and early 30s, I went through patches of depression when I couldn’t bear to get out of bed. I found socialising with other people particularly hard. I was so anxious about what others thought about me that I struggled to leave the house.
And if I did go out, I would become paranoid that strangers in the street were staring at me, or whispering about me behind my back. For decades, I didn’t dare tell anyone how much I was struggling.
If I had to go out, I would drink alcohol to give me confidence. And I was barely scraping through my job as an assembler at an engineering firm.
By my early 30s, I was overweight from drinking and comfort eating, and I was more depressed than ever. Then one morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and realised I couldn’t go on living like this. I started going to the gym and got into powerlifting. Suddenly I had something to focus on, and being able to lift heavier and heavier weights gave me a sense of achievement. With this new-found confidence, I finally plucked up the courage to seek help for my depression and anxiety.
Four years ago, I saw therapist Steve Mckeown, who helped me understand my feelings. He showed me how to channel my anxiety into my weightlifting and encouraged me to start my own business. I became a personal trainer and three years ago I started my own fitness boot camps.
It’s so rewarding seeing people come to the classes with so little confidence and transform before my eyes into people who are fit and happy. Since having therapy, I’ve been promoted at work and now I’m a production manager.
It’s also given me the courage to talk to my friends about my mental health struggles.
I always assumed that if I told anyone I was depressed, they would think differently of me. But, in fact, everyone has been really supportive, and it’s helped me to recover.
Now, at 43, I’m a different man to who I was in my early 30s. Not only do I look like a different person because I drink less and exercise more, but I have bags of confidence.
Although I still have the odd day when I feel anxious or down, I deal with my emotions much better.
I would encourage anyone who’s struggling with their mental health to speak to a friend. It’s made me the man I am today. Phil sought help and it changed his life