MY SEX GOD’S SO BORING IN BED

Dear Coleen

I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for a few months and we’re both in our mid-20s.

I couldn’t believe my luck when he was interested in me – I thought he was out of my league in the looks department. He’s very handsome and my friends have made comments about how sexy and good-looking he is. But, here’s the thing, he is actually really boring in bed and I have to initiate sex every time.

He’s always more into it if he’s had a couple of drinks, but I’m still the one who gets things going.

We haven’t been dating that long, so I’m not sure how to talk to him about this – I’m worried he’ll be offended. But I’ve had a couple of serious relationships and the sex has been so much better. Have you any advice?

Coleen says

I’m afraid that looking like an Adonis doesn’t guarantee you’ll have great sexual chemistry. And if it’s not working for you, then the only way around it is to initiate a conversation.

It might just boil down to lack of confidence – just because everyone else sees him as this sex god, doesn’t mean that’s how he sees himself.

Perhaps he feels he has to live up to his looks, which might put a lot of pressure on him to perform in bed.

I think it’s important not to be critical or put too much emphasis on sex itself.

Try to be encouraging – tell him what you like and how much he turns you on during sex, and maybe stop initiating it all the time and give him the space to do it.

You sound very confident in bed, but some people take longer to feel comfortable about really letting themselves go and trying new things.

Sexual chemistry is important, but so is the relationship, and perhaps you need to get to know each other better, focus on the romance, and see where it leads.