Seems it’s Friends ...with no benefits
THE old saying goes that you should be careful what you wish for, because you may just get it.
It’s now clear that this needs to be updated to something more like, be extremely specific what you wish for, because you may just get something close to it, but not exactly it, which is so disappointing and upsetting that it would actually have been better if you hadn’t come anywhere close to getting what you wished for in the first place.
Slightly less catchy, admittedly. True though.
Ever since May 7, 2004 – the morning after the last episode aired – people have wanted a Friends Reunion. No one in the cast, or any of the writers, has ever been interviewed without being asked about it.
If one of them simultaneously developed a cure for cancer, achieved peace in the Middle East and ended world poverty, the first question would still be Central Perkrelated. This is not a criticism.
We didn’t want Friends to be over, just on a break. And it wasn’t like we were asking for much – it only had to be exactly as good and funny as it always was, if not slightly better. It needed to be perfect. That’s all.
Strangely, no one involved with Friends seemed that keen to try to recreate the magic. That didn’t matter of course, it was a “moo point” (It’s like a cow’s opinion. It doesn’t matter. It’s moo.) we wanted it so much it cancelled out their reluctance.
But the question was laughed off, avoided, sometimes even fully shut down. They wouldn’t budge, or even pivot.
Until this week, when it was suddenly announced that all systems were go. The Friends Reunion was ON. The One Where They Got Back Together. It was properly, properly happening.
Well, as long as you didn’t look too closely, that is.
Because this is the Regina Phalange of reunions. It’s a decoy, a fake. One word gave it away. Unscripted.
We’re not getting Ross, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler. We’re getting David, Jennifer, Courteney, Lisa, Matt and Matthew. (Sidebar: how have I never noticed that two of them have the same name? Were they referred to as Matt P and Matt Le, like Luke T and Luke M on Love Island?)
We’re not getting wisecracking mates we know and love, we’re getting Hollywood actors who are probably sick of the sight of each other. Ex-colleagues.
And they’re not going to be dealing with the hilarious ups and downs of life in a way that is as entertaining as it is relatable.
They’re going to be talking about something that happened on set one day that was pretty funny actually but maybe you had to be there. Their favourite episodes. How it feels to be back together. And they’re surely going to be doing it through gritted teeth, because, as previously covered, none of them really wanted to. It’s really a long advert for the streaming service that will be showing Friends from now on.
A long advert that ends, once and for all, any future talk of a reunion, because they’ve done it now, haven’t they?
We should try to be sensible, mature, prosaic here. Maybe a proper reunion is too dangerous, and we’re being saved from ourselves. Perhaps it’s not always good to get what you think you want. We can learn an important lesson from this.
Or we can decide that they’re just being mean. We thought Friends was our lobster, but actually it was a Smelly Cat. Va fa Napoli!
‘‘ Just a long advert which ends any future talk of a reunion