BROTHER WON’T LET MY KIDS GO TO HIS WEDDING

Dear Coleen

My brother is getting married in the summer and I recently received an invitation to the wedding for just me and my husband but not our three children.

There was a note inside saying they were sorry they couldn’t accommodate children.

If this were just a friend, I’d accept it, but it’s my brother and we’re talking about his nieces and nephew. Plus, I’ve no idea who’ll look after the kids, as the entire family will be at the wedding.

My mum has asked me not to make a fuss – I get the feeling my brother’s fiancée was behind the decision – but I can’t help being upset. He could have at least discussed it with me instead of just putting in a general “no children allowed” note with the invite.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Coleen says

Honestly, I think the couple getting married has the right to decide how they want to run their wedding. Lots of people don’t invite children, or kids under a certain age, because they don’t want them running around or crying during the service.

There’s another way of looking at this – it’s a lovely opportunity for you and your husband to have a day or a night away.

I get the practical problem of finding childcare, but you’ve got time to sort that out and there will be ways round it – whether it’s your husband’s family or friends.

I think what’s really getting to you is that you feel hurt your brother doesn’t want your kids there when they’re family. But how do you decide whose kids can come and whose can’t – where do you draw the line? It’s a minefield!

I imagine your brother might have been embarrassed to speak to you about it beforehand, hence the general note, but I really don’t think it’s worth falling out over.