DAUGHTER WON’T MIX WITH CLASSMATES

Dear Coleen

My daughter is eight and I’m worried about her feeling isolated from her classmates.

None of them have been in touch during the lockdown and I know they’ve been having Zoom and Skype chats. She doesn’t have a best friend, although she seems to have lots of girls she likes at school.

What doesn’t add up is that she’s very confident and bright, and is wonderful with adults, so I don’t get why she’s not more sociable with her peers.

Should I be worried or am I making too much of it?

Coleen says

Is your daughter upset by it or is it just you? Is she crying herself to sleep or complaining that none of these girls have been in touch with her?

Unless she has a problem with it, then I don’t think you should make an issue out of it – she might not have even thought about it.

Friendships at that age change on a day-to-day basis. I think it’s healthy to be friends with lots of different kids instead of relying on one person – in fact, I know lots of schools actively discourage the “best friend” thing.

You could always have a quiet word with her teacher and get his or her take on it. But I think friendships can be tricky at this age – especially among girls – as kids are becoming much more assertive, but still don’t have the maturity to sort out disputes sensibly.

Hopefully, your daughter will find her way and then connect with plenty of other girls. And if you’re worried she’s feeling cut off, then she can Skype grandparents, cousins and friends from outside her class.

Why not ask her what she would like to do?

I’d like to reply to the woman who constantly argues with her boyfriend with him telling her she’s “making it up in her head” (Dear Coleen, May 8).

That is classic gaslighting, narcissistic behaviour. I’ve been there and it turned out my ex was cheating on me with multiple girls and stealing from me, too.

I believed I was wrong to suspect him – as he kept telling me – but I was right all along. It eventually escalated to him trying to strangle me during an argument, while I was holding my baby.

If you are suspicious, there’s probably a good reason! Trust your gut instinct. Name and address withheld