WORRIED WE’VE LOST INTEREST IN OUR SEX LIFE

Dear Coleen

I’m a 33-year-old woman and live with my boyfriend. We’ve been with each other for five years and have always had a good relationship – good sex, friendship, shared interests and so on.

However, over the past few weeks romance has been in short supply. It feels like we’ve both lost interest in each other sexually, which is worrying. I’ve even looked at him a few times recently and wondered if I even still fancy him.

We haven’t argued, nothing major has happened – it’s happened gradually, but it’s really shaken my confidence in our relationship.

Should I be worried and what can I do about it?

Coleen says

Um, something major has happened – you’ve been forced to spend 24 hours a day together and it’s bound to change how you relate to each other in some ways.

For some couples, lockdown has given their sex lives a boost because they have a lot more time for it. For others, it’s been like pouring a bucket of cold water over the flames of desire.

If you’re struggling with being in each other’s space all the time, getting irritated by the other’s habits and behaviours, it won’t do much for your libido.

Try building up the romance outside of the bedroom. If you’re both slopping around in sweatpants every day – stop it. Make an effort for each other.

Work apart if you can and meet up for breaks or a nice dinner at night. Having time away from each other is important, too, so take a walk on your own.

I wouldn’t worry at this point – this is a challenge. A successful relationship involves being able to adapt to changes and talking to each other about how you deal with them.