HOW DO I ASK PAL TO VACATE HOUSE I OWN?

Dear Coleen

I’m a woman about to turn 60 in August. During lockdown, I decided I wanted to move to a little holiday home I own and sell my family home, as my kids have left and have their own lives and I divorced my husband 10 years ago.

My problem is, I have a male friend whom I’ve allowed to live in my holiday home and he’s been there for seven years. I don’t charge him any rent, but he pays the bills. My problem is, things aren’t great between us. More recently, we’ve argued over repairs to the house and the way he treats the place. He’s also quite rude and dismissive whenever I speak to him, as if I don’t have the right to question him about the property.

I don’t want him to think that I’m chucking him out because we’re not getting along or for our friends to think I’m being cruel, but I do want my house back to retire to.

Any ideas?

Coleen says

It sounds to me as if you’ve been a kind and generous friend over the past seven years, but I’m sure even he is aware that the arrangement can’t last for ever and perhaps that’s the source of the tension between you.

It might have been easier if there had been a contract and he had paid rent, and you had an agent taking care of it. Things would have been less awkward when it came to giving him notice.

All you can do is explain to him why you need your home back – it’s nothing to do with any ill feeling, but your plan is to retire there. And give him some proper time to find somewhere else to live. If there’s a timeframe, then it’ll be easier for him.

It also might make things better between you once you don’t have the house to argue over.