Billion Pound Cruises: All At Sea, ITV ★★★
If Jane Mcdonald was watching ITV last night, I hope she paused to take a sip of her Strawberry Daiquiri and say:“looks like we picked the right week to get out of the cruising business, kidder.”
I’m sure it was just a coincidence that Jane announced she was giving up her brilliant Channel 5 show at the end of February, the week before the entire industry was plunged into coronavirus chaos.
And I’m certain she, like everyone else, takes no pleasure in the fact that it remains on the brink – or in the fact that plucky British entrepreneur and tax exile Richard Branson’s new multi-million pound cruising venture was torpedoed before it had even left port. At the time, one medical commentator actually referred to cruise ships as “the floating petri dishes” (I’m sure I saw them at Glastonbury one year).
So I guess you had to admire the optimism shown by some of the cruise fans in this ITV documentary, which was part disaster movie and part Wish You Were Here?
It was also, somewhat bizarrely, part Britain’s Got Talent. I look forward to hearing electric organ duo Morven and Ian Rae’s song about their ill-fated South American cruise again at the London auditions next year.
Perhaps buoyed (sorry) by the news that tour operators are offering “unprecedented bargains for 2021,” 65% of respondents to one online survey said they would definitely be taking to the high seas again.
Whether that makes them brave or ignorant
(or perhaps both) is a matter of opinion.
For my part I’m not even sure I’ll make it back to the pub before Christmas.
‘‘ It was part disaster movie and part Wish You Were Here?