CHEATED ON MY BOYFRIEND AND FEEL SO GUILTY

Dear Coleen

About six months ago, I cheated on my boyfriend with a local guy and I’ve been feeling bad about it ever since.

My boyfriend lives and works at the other end of the country, so we’ve had a long-distance relationship for the past 18 months, which also made it easier to sleep with someone else and lie about it.

We hadn’t seen each other for months until recently, thanks to lockdown, as we couldn’t get together at weekends, but he was so brilliant and attentive during this time, which made me feel even more guilty.

I’ve decided not to confess all, but I’ve agreed to move to be with him. But how can I deal with feeling this bad?

Coleen says

If you’ve made your decision not to tell him, then I think you have to just get on with it and hope he doesn’t find out!

Look, this other guy has obviously made you realise you want to be with your boyfriend, so learn from what’s happened and throw yourself into your relationship.

Long-distance relationships are tough, and you have to put a lot of effort into making them work.

I just hope it was struggling with the distance that led you into the arms of someone else, rather than the relationship itself, but I guess you’ll find that out when you start living together!

Just keep in mind that moving in together for the first time has its own pressures and you’re going from seeing each other at weekends to being together all the time.

There has to be compromise and give and take, and you can’t hook up with someone else at the first sign of trouble or the relationship will never survive.