Jess a Snapshot .....
This week’s...
...MOST DOWN-TO-EARTH TOTALLY RELATABLE COMMENT THAT CHIMES DIRECTLY WITH HIS AUDIENCE
Goes to: Alan Carr, for this absolutely not uber-first world problem.
He lamented: “I decided I hate London, I’m sick of it, I’m going to live in a castle.
“But then someone put me off.”
So unfair. Someone crushed my castle dreams too, Alan.
My bank manager.
...BRAVEST TEENAGERS
Goes to: Gwyneth Paltrow’s children Apple, 17, and
Moses, 15.
She sells candles that smell like her private downstairs area (and I don’t mean her mansion’s cinema room).
So you would think Gwynnie couldn’t possibly do anything worse to embarrass the kids. But kudos to the Oscar winner, because once again she’s pulled a rabbit out of the hat.
(Probably literally, if you’re thinking of the adult battery kind.)
For Gwynnie’s new lifestyle show, Sex, Love and Goop, sees her dishing out sex advice to ordinary couples.
After starring in all those recordbreaking Marvel movies, Gwynnie’s next job could’ve been a real anticlimax. But not in this case.
...IRONIC CELEB
Goes to: Megan Fox.
The Transformers actress claims her new “size-inclusive” Boohoo line makes “women feel good”.
However only eight of 30-odd designs are available in size 20 plus.
Larger women apparently can’t “feel good” in her LBDS or cute zebra-print trench coats.
But they can apparently “feel good” in her “oversized blazer shirt”, “oversized satin shirt”, “wide-leg trousers”, slouchy “boyfriend blazer”, and “familysized tent that sleeps four”.
OK I added the last one, but you get the bigger picture.
But women flaunting generous curves still want to dress like a real fox too, Megs.
* Rebecca Humphries, girlfriend of Seann ‘I snogged Katya’ Walsh; Laura Dern who claims she was still dating Billy Bob Thornton when he married Ange; and Jen Aniston. Well, we all know why she and Ange aren’t Friends.